QUOTE OF THE DAY Sep 2019POLITICS, APPROPRIATION, VICTIMISATION ‘There are some who seem to believe they own the corpse of Jo Cox and may wave it like a banner above their heads to further their noisy and self-righteous little arguments.’
George Darling in Eyeline Magazine
news
Sep 26 2019ABBEY ROAD, BEATLES, AUSTERITY
Hundreds of thousands come to walk across it, why shouldn’t they pay? Plans to monetise the Abbey Road zebra crossing made world famous by the Beatles are to be debated at a TFI meeting tonight. Opponents of the scheme argue it could jeopardise a bid to turn it into a World Heritage site.
MEDIA
Sep 20 2019
JOHN HUMPHRYS, SYNTAX, HISTORIC PRESENT, CHAIR MILES.
Humphrys quits Today with no challenger in sight
To test John Humphrys’s well-known loathing of the use of the historic present tense, The Second Post offered 5,000 Chair Miles to anyone who managed to include three uses of the historic present in the course of a single interview with the veteran presenter. But Humphreys left Broadcasting House yesterday unchallenged. Prof Ted Peaseley, Professor of Syntax at Royal Leatherhead College expressed ‘profound disappointment with the failure 
science & technology
Sep 2019CLIMATE CHANGE, INSECTS, FLATULENCE
Scientists have drastically underestimated the quantities of methane gas produced by insects according to Prof Sven Siskie, of the Upsala Research Foundation. These invertebrates, notably the Daddy Longlegs, constitute an existential
‘I used to work for myself, but I fell out with my employer’
– Reggie Peplow
NEWS
Sep 23 2019THOMAS COOK, TRAVEL, BUSINESs
‘They came in their droves from all over the globe, gallant volunteer airmen in a motley array of aircraft of every shape and size. Their mission? To rescue the stranded Brits and bring them all safely home. And – miraculously – they did it!’
LULU SHAYLER tells the full story of a remarkable mercy mission. Page 4
Thomas Cook holidaymakers queue patiently as they wait to be brought home.
quote of the day
Sep 2019
NORTHERN IRELAND, BORDER, BACKSTOP
The EU has made sure that by inflating the threat of terrorism, the terrorists, not the signatories of the Peace Agreement, are the victors in Northern Ireland.
Prof Donald McCaulay on Radio Five A
THIS ONE iS FOR REAL
Sep 2019womans hour, MORALE BOOSTER, dignitas
Tireless in its desire to see the upside of life, LULU SHAYLER pays tribute to a national broadcasting treasure.
aOOD & WINE Sep 2019
COOKERY, PASTA
PENNE FROM HEAVEN
The robustness of penne – this is the cilyndrical one that you have to chew like it’s an old piece of garden hose – makes it very much an autumn or winter pasta. Gerald, Bless him, likes it when i brew up a auce of shitake mushrooms (i prefer the onces that come from southern Hokaido because they have an extra something. The trick is not to over-strain the pasta but leave it slightly moister than you think would be right. Stir in a lightly-oiled pan over a medium heat. Serve in Tuscan potter bowls accompanied by Dean Martin’s Volare.
(Taken from Jacaranda Finch’s High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine Ravelin Books £7.99)
NEXT WEEK: Mongolian Yurt-style Yoghurt
features
Sep 2019MADAGASCAR, SLAVERY, REPARATIONS, vanilla, mercedez
Our Third World Correspondent BRUCE TUNCLIFFE writes, Just days after Kehinde Andrews and Esther Stanford-Xosei spoke in an Intelligence Squared debate in favour of a motion demanding that the West must pay reparations for slavery, Amnesty International revealed these obscene conditions for unconvicted children in an grotesquely overcrowded Madagascan prison. It may not be slavery but perhaps Kehinde and Esther might rejoin the 21st Century for a few minutes and seek reparations for these poor wretches and do smething about their plight?
television
Sep 2019CROSSING SUPERVISORS, SATANIC, EXORCISm
TONIGHT’S TV CHOICE:: The UK’s Most Evil Lollipop Ladies 8.00pm Channel TK50
‘Well, Mark, he made you look a bit of an idiot.’ But I knew I would soon be boasting about the day I fought Hirotaka Okada, twice champion of the whole flipping world
comment
Sep 2019justice, sentencing policy, spin
‘When are they going to cease the meaningless nonsense of aggregating the prison sentences so they can say ‘the gang was sentenced for a total of sixteen years. That’s just a way of avoiding saying that each of the four guys will, after serving their half their sentences, will be out in just a couple of years’. LULU SHAYLER meets lawyer Alwyn Cronin who is campaigning against ‘pure headline-shaped spin by the prosecution which the pathetic media cannot resist’.
comment
Oct 07 2019CROWD CONTROL, EXTINCTION REBELLION
Where are Boris’s water cannon now that we need them?
‘Thousands of hours of valuable police time could have been saved if water cannon had been deployed.’ says former Police Superintendent Hywel Evans. ‘They could have extinguished extinction.’
OPINION
Oct 15 2019
NEXT WEEK: AN EXCITING NEW COLUMN!
Thus Spake Sarah Thruster!
No subject is too hot for Sarah to handle. Read her controversial new weekly column only in THE SECOND POST
THE VIEW FROM MRAK
Jul 2019
Tags, automatically uppercase
‘I’m liking it but I think it needs a little more work’
WHAT THE PAPERS SAY
WHAT ARE THE PAPERS SAYING?
Check out The Second Post’s new daily NEWSPAPER REVIEW with detailed and perceptive analysis from LANGTON & BLANDFORD, OUR WIDELY RESPECTED team of MEDIA commentators.
NOT A MOMENT TO BE LOST! Newspaper reviewers Poppy Blandford and Coco Langton must work fast to get their analysis to your breakfast table
Fighting is what happens when people carry on playing after you have taken away the ball
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news
Aug 2019BILLY REDNAP,
Move over Greta, a new young leader has joined you on the gobal stage and he’s going to save the world!
Billy Rednap: ‘I feel very flattered, of course, but I do worry that people might think I’m too old for this job’
Following the success of Greta Thunberg’s campaign to demonstrate that young people have so much more to contribute to our society, the Grodek Foundation is to fund 3-year-old Billy Reddnap to head their World Affairs Policy Formulation Group. LULU SHAYLER went to meet Rednap at his Mayfair office where he talked about the challenges of working with ‘The Princess’ Thunborg, his hopes and fears for the future of our planet and the fortunes of his beloved Arsenal.
TWEET OF THE DAY21 Oct 1805
ADMIRAL LORD NELSON, VICTORY
TRENDING . . . Tweet coming in from flgship HMS Victory at approx 11.45am addressed to multiple vessels which have pitched up near Cape Trafalgar: ‘England expects that every man will do his duty‘.
foreign affairs
Oct 2019china, real poliitik
China shows off its latest tanks in a parade marking the 70th anniversary of the founding of the People’s Republic of China. Experts say that this model cannot be stopped in its tracks even by a lone man armed with a shopping bag.
‘As the Hong Kong demonstrators continue to hurl themelves against the police barricades, writes Giles Persimon, one feels obliged to remind them of a mildly racist but essentially imperialist joke from the middle of the last century. Question: What do you call a Chinaman with a machine gun? Answer: Sir. The wording, now innappropriate, has moved on but the protestors need to realise that the truth it contained still remains.’
Read GILES PERSIMON on Six Decades of Modern China TOMORROW in The Second Post.
QUOTE OF THE DAY 08 Oct 2019PROTEST, CLIMATE CHANGE, TAMBOURINES‘One supports the cause but deeply resent the tactics of these vile, self-regarding, virtue signalling, posturing tambourinists’
Donald Carson on New Sense website
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news
Oct 2019migration, FREEZER containers, FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT
NOT JUST IN TIME
comment
Oct 10 2019politics, debate, BREXIT
‘It is impossible to predict what will happen next,’ is the startling conclusion of our star political columnist Horace Edgerley in another perceptive piece in which he focuses his forensic analytical mind on the great political conundrum of our times. Read him tomorrow: ONLY IN THE SECOND POST!
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letters
Oct 11 2019EXTINCTION PROTESTORS , DIVERSITY, white supremacistsDear Sir,
I can’t helping noticing that the Extinction Rebelllion protesters seem to be having serious diversity issues. People of colour are very much under-represented. Don’t black lives matter too?
Yours sincerely,
Caroline Pickett, High Barnet
01 SEP 2019 . . . the posthumous exploitation of the name of Jo Cox . . . insects and the methane factor . . . the lollipop lady menace . . . a victory for the terrorists . . . Jacaranda has her way with pasta . . . the radio programme that keeps Dignitas in business . . .
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