THE SECOND POST IS FICTION SERIALISED IN THE FORM OF A NEWS WEBSITE

 23 JUL 2018  . . . the curse of sciatica . . . farewell to a political Philby . . .  shepherds are safe at last . . . Plastics for those Re-psychos . . . . . . Look who’s run off with the Honours List . . .  a fine sans serif . . .

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Hi I’m Tom Bolton and as the Chief Site Attendant I would like to welcome you to The Second Post, the affordable sustainable website free at the point of delivery. We have a great team looking after you on the site today including down on the subs desk Tina de Zoot and Anna Mae Wu who make sure all the commas are, in the right place. And we mustn’t forget our new intern, Kevin Fells, who’ll be getting  in the coffees. Mine’s a latte, Kevin!  So let’s see what positives we can all take from our time together. And remember, we put your safety and comfort of you at the very centre of our concerns, so sit back and enjoy!

NEWS 26 Jun 2018 RUSSELL BRAND, BBC

A senior University of West Spalding academic has called on the BBC to invite Russell Brand to deliver the next Reith Lecture. According to Professor Peaseley, an invitation  to Brand is long overdue; the failure will only be taken as an insult to multiple young people up and down the country.

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The waiting list for membership is currently two and a half years. In addition to the deposit of one thousand guineas we ask for two references from people of substance and quality. Application forms are available from the Club’s receptionist between 6.00pm and 11.00pm every weekday evening.

FOOD & wine12 Jul 2018 WINE ‘This is indeed a very fine sans serif’

Our judges were unanimous in their decision to go for this very fine sans serif, writes Caradoc Wynn-Jones . We were all seduced by the classy simplicity of an elegantly but playfully rationalised wine glass and bibulous ampersand. With notes of Gill’s middle period work and a lingering after-taste of Beck’s 1931 vintage London Underground, it is pleasingly typical of its terroir, Chateau Lewis Moberly. One of the great producers, they offer an uncompromising white background giving a discreet nod  to the France  of entre deux guerres.

Fighting is what happens when people carry on playing after you have taken away the ball

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SPORT 6 Jul 2018HORSERACINGRACING TIPS

2.20 Arbroath  Don’t stop me now
3.30 Royston  Banoffee Pie
2.15 Cheeseborough  Easy Peeler

FROM OUR ARCHIVES5 Jul  13,820,000,000 BC

NOISE POLLUTION, BIG BANG, DINOSAURS

TRENDING . . . 

Tweets coming in from all over the place reporting an extremely loud bang at around tea time on Tuesday. Multiple people asking ‘where have all the dinosaurs gone?’

FEATURES 21 Jul 2018health, sciatica, donald tusk This unfortunate sciatica sufferer is pictured at one of multiple treatment centres around the country struggling to cope with a health issue which now even has Europe firmly in its grip
Lulu Shalyler reports

You have just entered a premium area of The Second Post which is reserved exclusively for members of our Polo Lounge Club. 
The Club offers subscribers full access to the website plus use of all Club facilities including spa, nail parlour and tanning suite and, of course, our famous Polo Lounge, Chukka Bar and Ambassadors Dining Room where our members can relax and take the opportunity to mingle with our international clientele of high net worth individuals from the fields of high finance, entertainment and the professions.
The waiting list for membership is currently two and a half years. In addition to the deposit of one thousand guineas we ask for two references from people of substance and quality. Application forms are available from the Club’s receptionist between 6.00pm and 11.00pm every weekday evening.

NEWS 14 Jul 2018 OPERA, ARMY, EU

A casual aside by a right wing Estonian political commentator has caused a furore in European Union defence circles during the crucial visit of US President, Donald Trump. Dismissing the viability of an EU army without the North American elements of Nato, Mr Arvo Kapp said that the EU’s territories were so woefully ill-defended that in the event of any Russian aggression the new European Army will have to be reinforced from the choruses of the great opera companies  because ‘at least most of them know how to handle a musket’.

OBITUAry
3 Jul 2018
obituary, politics, informer

Brendan Trickett, talented special adviser who gained notoriety as the Philby-style sleeper of British party politics For 17 years everyone believed Joe Trickett was a committed DLP member. From the day he joined the party and volunteered to help at his constituency headquarters in East Sussex he was highly valued as a tireless and conscientious worker. With his quick mind, blunt pragmatism and low-key charm, he rose through the ranks to become a key figure among the campaign advisers at Central House, Westminster where he was entrusted with the party’s innermost secrets. His betrayal was only uncovered following a bizarre set of circumstances triggered by his affair with the wife of a political opponent.

films 14 Jul 2018FILMS, SOCIETY Wheels! 15 Nationwide 

Fang Babylon (Bruno Cartier) is a sedentary wheeler and dealer, his scarred visage as ugly as his heart (writes Carl Lefreund). Death is his commodity – hardly a unique selling proposition in itself  – but his work station certainly presents one in that he is confined to a wheelchair laden with lethal gadgetary. Given that our scriptwriters (mercy, there are four of them) assign the role of Mister Deeply Repellent to a charm-challenged psychopath in a wheelchair, we might assume that attitudes to physical disability have come of age but we are soon reassured that this is hardly the case because Babylon’s nemesis is The Spokesman, a beautiful female blonde FBI agent (Zara Feltz), who is, of course, guess what? also chairbound. Our cop is a cop out! Anyhow the two of them have a nice line in wheeliebatics in this almost likeable caper movie. Sensitive viewers should be warned: the staircase community is woefully under represented.

NEWS 9 Jul 2018 environment, waste, charityConfidential plans for a takeover of a major UK company have been exposed in the unlikely location of a Tanzanian high school because of an error in sending material for recycling.  MyPad4schools uses more than 1,100 young volunteers across the country to collect waste stationery from offices for recycling. Good quality paper which is blank on one side is salvaged and turned into gummed notepas for dispatch to schools in emerging nations. Damian Beal, 27, a British volunteer teacher at the school outside Dodoma, who had recently been forced to give up his job in the City due to stress, saw the significance of the information on the back of a sheet.

You have just entered a premium area of The Second Post which is reserved exclusively for members of our Polo Lounge Club. 
The Club offers subscribers full access to the website plus use of all Club facilities including spa, nail parlour and tanning suite and, of course, our famous Polo Lounge, Chukka Bar and Ambassadors Dining Room where our members can relax and take the opportunity to mingle with our international clientele of high net worth individuals from the fields of high finance, entertainment and the professions.
The waiting list for membership is currently two and a half years. In addition to the deposit of one thousand guineas we ask for two references from people of substance and quality. Application forms are available from the Club’s receptionist between 6.00pm and 11.00pm every weekday evening.

Category 11 Jul 2018MAINS, LAMB, PIE

PC SHEPHERD’S PIE.

This time honoured standby is a great favourite with my dear Jerry. Whenever I serve it he always says (and I mean always, bless him), ‘I preferred it in the old pre-PC days when Shepherds Pie was made of shepherds’. He’s such a caution! So I call this my PC Shepherd’s Pie! Here’s my twist on a familiar recipe. Traditional it may not be but I promise you it’s better.
Prepare the meat and onions  and whatever in the normal manner but add red or white wine, a couple of bayleaves, mixed herbs, garlic and the merest whisper of red pepper. Yum!
(Taken from High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine  Jacaranda Finch  Ravelin Books £7.99)

NEXT WEEK: Mornington Croissants
 

BLOGROLL

Ohnowhatnow.co.uk
Dontgetmestarted.com
Thehandcart.com
Noproblem.net
Anddoyouknowwhat.com

BLEEDING HEART CORNER7 Jul 2018KRAKOW SYNDROMEDear Sir, In your issue of 12 Jan 22018,  you rightly draw attention to the growing phenomenon of Krakow Syndrome  which is affecting large numbers of people particularly in the South East of England. As Treasurer of the Krakow Syndrome Sufferers Association, I seek to make your readers aware of our fundraising efforts and appeal for their support.
Maurice Jordan, Trowbridge, Wilshire

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QUIZ 7 Jul 2018 quiz, perplexus PERPLEXUS: ANSWERS TO QUIZ NUMBER 211

Historic planning permission abuse (R-17) Keeping up e-pearances (H-60) The Mary Quantocks (G-36) Duck billed platitudes (L-29) Former opinion former (N-99) Iambic Thermometer (Q-77) 

Category

2 Jul 2018

HISTORY, ARCHIVES, DOMESDAY BOOK

Domesday Book falls foul of  Data Protection Act
Prof Ted Peaseley, head of history at the University of West Spalding, has called the destruction of thousands of historic

You have just entered a premium area of The Second Post which is reserved exclusively for members of our Polo Lounge Club. 
The Club offers subscribers full access to the website plus use of all Club facilities including spa, nail parlour and tanning suite and, of course, our famous Polo Lounge, Chukka Bar and Ambassadors Dining Room where our members can relax and take the opportunity to mingle with our international clientele of high net worth individuals from the fields of high finance, entertainment and the professions.
The waiting list for membership is currently two and a half years. In addition to the deposit of one thousand guineas we ask for two references from people of substance and quality. Application forms are available from the Club’s receptionist between 6.00pm and 11.00pm every weekday evening.

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