A Happy Christmas to all our readers
December 2018A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
The Second Post – working for a better future as well as a better past
It has been another year of quiet triumph for The Second Post. Yes we have had multiple ups and downs but , as ever, we have brought an equanimity to our political discourse and have proved to be a unifying force in tour divided realm. We regard your continued recognition of that as a more than adequate Christmas gift. For that we thank you most sincrely.
CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY
18 Dec 2018CHRISTMAS, MUZAK, CRUELTY, CHINA Shop workers and catering staff are to launch a protest against repetitive Christmas music in shops and coffee bars and other catering businesses. ‘It’s painful for the customers but the poor people who serve them have to hear the same music on a loop over and over again every day for the best part of a month,’ says Marianne Chorley, spokesman for the group which alleging religious discrimination to strengthen their case. ‘It’s enough to drive a person insane ‘The Chinese wouldn’t inflict this on their most troublesome political prisoners.’
17 Dec 18POLITICS, AMBER, ROMANCE
NEXT WEEK EXCLUSIVE IN THE SECOND POST: Amber, the full story of one of the most quietly influential political figures of her time. We reveal her place in our history and her place in men’s hearts. Plus Amber as you have never seen her before in pictures of . . .
her life. . .
. . . and her loves.
ORDER YOUR COPY NOW!
Do it right and you are Becker, you are Beckham; do it wrong and you are Tom – after Jerry has given him the exploding cigar
1 Dec 2018CHRISTMAS, BAN, MEDIA Away with the manger!
Channel LIV237 TV have made a promise to exclude any mention of Christmas from the whole of December. The station’s arch rival ALLRADIO 200. ‘That’s all well and good, but what happens when a Father Christmas explodes in Oxford Street?’ LIV237 has refused to comment.
25 Dec 2018BIRTHDAY GREETINGS
The Second Post invites our readers to join us today in echoing the timeless words of the Asian royals who, when they saw the Little Baby Jesus, wished him:
‘Multiple happy returns of the day!’
20 Dec 2018Anxiety, interior design, depression
An estimated three quarters of a million people are now believed to be suffering from issues related to poor self-esteem as a result of idealised home interiors shown in the media, according to a new report. LULU SHAYLER went to find out more about the new contagion – Home Decorating Disorder (HDD). ‘People see houses in magazines and feel humiliated and inadequate,’ one clinical psychologist tells her. Ignorance is the problem: they don’t understand that nobody’s home actually looks like this; they don’t know what those rooms have been put through to achieve an appearance of physical perfection. We need to educate people need to understand that these places have undergo ruthless regimes before they appear in public. Unsightly blemishes are concealed by subtle lighting and digital manipulation, dimensions are distorted by wide-angle photography, and that they are often deprived of essential furniture and possessions. As a result of all this there have even been cases of HDD resulting in serious self-harming with some people getting rid of essential possessions in order to achieve the minimalist look.
NEWS4 Dec 2018CHEFS, KITCHEN, VIOLENCECelebrity chef, Wayne Spinks was forced to quit his TV show after fracturing his spatula in two places.
2 Nov 2018SOCIETY, Thomas LATEY, GENERAL PUBLIC TOMORROW IN THE SECOND POST
In his highly controversial analysis of the state of UK society today Thomas Latey alleges that ‘Among its most catastrophic shortcomings its habit of constantly sending send out ‘very mixed signals’ to their politicians on such crucial issues as Brexit and which political party should run the country.
8 Dec 2018
OBITUARIES, PHARMACEUTICALS, DESIGN,
Penny Barker, packaging design guru who transformed the appearance of our medicine cabinets as she abandoned clinical cool for floral themes and treated pharmaceuticals more like cosmetics.
OBITUARIES, RADICAL PROFESSORS
Anwar Shabana, Egyptian born Economics Professor who led his fellow academics in a controversial march through Central London in protest against political and intellectual indolence of their students.
3 Dec 2018 census, birth statistics, J.Christ
‘Begotten not created’ – Eh?
Tweet found on the southern outskirts of Jerusalem
this one is for real
15 Dec 2018restaurants, brandingFood writer identifies astonishing restaurant concept
‘In too came a new name. Kin and deum in Thai means simply to eat and to drink, the two activities that lie at the heart of the new owners’ approach.’ Nicholas Lander ‘Restaurant Insider’ columnist for FT Weekend Magazine reviewing Kin and Deum 22 Sep 18.
food & drink
Dec 21 2018DRINKS, SPARKLING WINE, cocktails
It is so easy to get confused about the correct names for cocktails based on sparkling wines. Gerald, bless him, is always getting it wrong! So let me set out this end of the drinks menu for you.
Bucks Fizz: fresh orange juice and Champagne
Lancashire Fizz: fresh orange juice and any Cremant
Berkshire Fizz: fresh orange and sparkling white
Surrey Fizz: Fresh orange juice and prosecco
Essex Fizz: tinned orange juice and sparkling white
Black Velvet: Guinness and champagne
Black Draylon: Guinness and sparkling white
(Taken from Jacaranda Finch’s High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine Ravelin Books £7.99)
NEXT WEEK: Kidney and Bacon Crumble
‘The following events are true, but some of them have not yet occurred’
– Prof Glyn Owen
10 Dec 2018ART, PERFORMANCE
A clamped car is being winched aboard a flatbed removal truck, writes Cherry Poole, Art Correspondent. Its owner, an unpleasant overweight City fat cat rushes up and protests. He becomes increasingly abusive to the hapless parking enforcer. Soon a crowd gathers and sides with the car removal squad. As their task is almost completed an attractive but clearly distraught woman clutching a baby in her arms appears shortly followed by a council vehicle removal truck. The woman turns out to be the wife of City man and joins him in remonstrating with the truck driver. The spectators are now shouting in support of the mother whose protests grow louder, her language more obscene. Faced with this hail of abuse the truck driver leaps from his cab, snatches the baby from its mother’s arms and, after swinging it twice round his head, hurls it over the crowd to land on the pavement. By the time everyone realises it’s a rag doll one has come to the conclusion that performance art doesn’t get much more visceral than this.
The Dark Encounters Project can be seen at unannounced locations until the end of this month.
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