films & TV
23 July 2020coronation Street
Coronation Street to merge with East Enders for trial episodes
Douglas McCaffrey, head of programming at Vesuvius has announced that Coronation Street & East Enders are to join forces for a trial period of six episodes. ‘The interweaving of plots will,’ he says, ‘bring some desperately needed regional diversity to the table.’ However it seems that budgetary considerations are a more likely MORE
ANNOUNCEMENT
The Second Post plans Goldman Sachs welfare fund
We are proud to report that Mr Aram Manukian, proprietor of The Second Post, is planning a special fund to alleviate the distress, financial hardship and mental health issues that may arise within Goldman Sachs following the bank’s appalling recent run of bad luck. According to the Financial Times, ‘Goldman pays $4 billion to end IMDB scandal’ in which ‘billions were plundered’ from IMDB, Malaysia’s state investment fund.
To make matters worse Corona Virus has deprived the bank of the publicity which might have shed some light on its plight and aroused some sympathy around the globe. Apart from some brief reporting there has been little coverage in depth – seemingly no major television or radio in-depth analysis in the UK where the public at large have been left ignorant about its troubles. Goldman have every right to complain about its treatment by the media which has behaved as though the bank is 
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Fighting is what happens when people carry on playing after you have taken away the ball
NEWS
30 July 2020
REITH LECTURES
‘Once again justice is denied!’ comments Professor Ted Peasley. He is among the many who have campaigned vociferously for Russell Brand to deliver the Reith lecture. Peasley and other supporters had their hopes dashed by this morning’s announcement that Bank of England governor Mark Carney, has been chosen instead. Describing the decision as
TELEVISION
14 July 2020
TV: TONIGHT’S MUST WATCH
Britain’s Most Evil Flower Sellers
(STB TV 8.30pm)
high COOKING 17 May 2020
MAIN COURSE
GOAT D’AZURE
This is a favourite of ours when we stay with our chums, Pietr and Daphne Glocks, at their lovely home in the South of France. Up in the hills there is goat to be had in abundance. The same may not be true for Guildford but mutton more than suffices – you just need less cooking time.
Choose a good sized leg of mutton and run it with salt. Marinade for a day and a half in rough white wine and lemon juice. Roast slowly for an hour. Baste and add vegetables and cook for a further hour and a half. with anything from Enrico Macias.
(Taken from Jacaranda Fitch’s High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine Ravelin Books £7.99)
NEXT WEEK: Oeufs au Beurre Noir
POLITICS
27 September 2020POLITICS, SPEED LIMITS
A fearless BBC interviewer unveils a trail of Government mixed messaging
Nick Robinson: ‘You must admit the rules are very confusing. You’re saying it’s 70 mph (112 km/h) for motorways and dual carriageways but if you turn on to a single carriageway it suddenly goes down to 60 mph (96 km/h)?
Minister: Well, yes – that seems . . .
Robinson: But then you’re saying if you find yourself driving between lamp posts you can only do can maximum of 30 mph (48 km/h)?
Minister: Yes because these will tend to be build up areas where . . .
Robinson: And now you’re saying these limits can be changed at whim just by sticking up a road sign?
Minister: How else would you do it for Christ’s sake?
Robinson: Temper! Temper!
Minister: I’m sorry but . . .
Robinson: But these limits only apply to cars, motorcycles, certain vans up to 2 tonnes maximum laden weight (MLW). So are you telling me that if I was to drive a white van at 31mph I should be prosecuted?
Minister: Well maybe not . . .
Robinson: Okay the, so if I was to drive that white van at 31mph but overloaded by just a few ounces, should i be prosecuted?
Minister: What we’re saying is that . . .
Robinson: Have you ever actually driven a white van, Minister?
‘The only creatures with clean hands in the City of London are the workers who tend to the toilets and the carp in the atria ponds’
Prof Glyn Owen
FUN & GAMES 20 February 2020‘Thank you for reaching out’ No. 43
CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY
1 July 2020ENVIRONMENT, COVID, social distancing,
How many must die before a callous council takes action?
Hedges flanking the pavement of an exclusive residential road in the fabled Notting Hill quarter of the wealthy Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea have become an existential threat to pedestrians. Allowed to grow untrimmed for years, some of the hedges now spread over the pavement forcing the less privileged to pass close to each other, breaking social distancing guidelines and risking their lives.