01 APR 2019 . . . Why we have to take a chance on the chancers . . . Jacaranda’s special Easter Bunny recipe . . . Penguin community accused of lacking diversity . . . what they are saying about Little Greta . . . check out our daily review of the newspapers . . . the boxing club – a vital too in the media’s battle with knife crime . . .
NEWS Apr 2019 GRETA , CLIMATE CHANGE
‘Five tell-tale signs that say Little Greta is not for real’ ran the headline in one of Taipei’s racier tabloid websheets. It claims that Greta Thunberg the schoolgirl truant and plucky celebrity environment protestor is a Chinese designed cyberbot created by
Thunbergs are go: Greta’s creators in
RK’s Animatronics Division are said to have
modelled her features on those of a popular
Danish comic strip character, Little Adalina
technologists from the Xin Ren Corporation and made in North Korea. An unnamed source in the article claims ‘Greta’ is an 8th iteration robo-replicant and still far from state of the art as evidenced by the weirdly automaton-like speech and movement which credulous Westerners are attributing to Asperger syndrome.
‘It’s very clear what we have here,’ says Ziv Kuchinski, the former US Defence Department analyst. ‘Programmed with a totalitarian style climate-change agenda, this is the perfect tool for pressuring Western nations to pass self-destructive carbon reduction measures which put them at a severe disadvantage when competing against China.’
EARN MONEY FROM YOUR OLD COPIES OF THE SECOND POST!
We are pleased to report that we are now ‘a collectible’. Back numbers of The Second Post have become much sought after and are fetching high prices in the auction houses.
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THE FIRST POST, 894 OAKLEY CRT, LONDON 3SN12A 3BB
quote of the day14 Mar 2018TRAVELLERS, SAUDI ARABIA , decapitation These people are in essence a settled traveller community with their own robust traditions and social mores forged in the face of hostile enviroment. It ill-behoves us to criticise them.
Henry St John Fitzjermyns
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high COOKING 17 Apr 2019
MAIN COURSE
EASTER BUNNY
Last month we enjoyed March Hare, jugged in its blood and gently roasted but now its poor old Roger Rabbit’s turn to cop it.
Purchase a decent sized specimen, skin and rub with salt. Most people discard the ears but my darling Gerry likes them left on. For my special Easter Bunny recipe you will need olive oil, garlic, juniper berries, some slices of apple, salt and pepper and some decent cider. I don’t think I need to tell you what to do next except to add a small glass of Calvados twenty minutes before cooking and at the last minute some double cream.
Serve in shallow bowls accompanied by Chas and Dave’s Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit (Taken from Jacaranda Fitch’s High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine Ravelin Books £7.99)
POLITICS
Mar 2019POLITICS
‘We are where we are’ writes our new man in Westminster, Oliver Trowbridge. Follow his regular column of penetrating political analysis STARTING TOMORROW!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Apr 2019POLITICS, SOCIETY
There are the modest, clever, attractive, steady, conscientious, decent, well-meaning, charming, honest and the wise.
There are the showy, corner-cutting, risk-taking , adventurist, unreliable, impulsive, selfish, greedy, aggressive, exploitative and the shameless.
If a nation to grow and thrive it is the second group on which it must depend.
Prof Glyn Owen in The Hobbesian Magazine
features
Apr 20 2019CLIMATE CHANGE, politics, direct actionClimate change activists now face direct action
Angry asociates of the cross party Citizens Committee movement have begun a campaign a direct action against climate change protesters who cause inconvenience to hundreds and thousands. ‘It is sad that a very worthwhile cause has been polluted by the antics of some deeply fatuous people,’ said the Rev Thomas Baxter, one of CC’s founder members.
‘These tiresome representatives of the tambourine community comprised largely of sanctimonious narcissistic virtue-signalling exhibitionists are more interested in the carnival possibilities than the efficacy of protest.’
Citizens Committee has been compiling a list of names and addresses of organisers and followers to be targeted for a range of legal protest actions.
Features
Apr 09 2019DALMATIANS, JAUNDICE, NEWSNIGHTMystery of the vanishing dogskins
A North London veterinary practice has reported the disappearance of a number of Dalmatian corpses from its morgue. The animals had been put down because they were suffering from an acute form of canine jaundice. A keen-eyed reader of The Second Post solved the mystery of their fate.
‘The clever thing is that everyone stays schtum. Those who know what’s going on are too scared to speak; those who don’t know don’t want to know. It is too terrible for the authorities to contemplate so they won’t discuss it. The general public doesn’t want to know. The chattering classes don’t like to chatter about it – bit of a downer at a dinner party – and they’re happy to leave it to the politicians they claim to despise. The politicians think it should be left to the police because it’s a vermin control problem, but they certainly don’t want to be told that Vermin Control is controlled by vermin. So we have the converse of moral panic: a state of collective wilful denial.’
– Prof Glyn Owen
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news
Apr 2019
KNIFE CRIME, SHOck CONCLUSION, knightsbridge, david mellor A two year project by the Univerity of West Spalding’s Social Research Unit indicates that knife attacks are much less likely to occur in areas like Knightsbridge or Belgravia which have a high immigrant population than other boroughs with higher indigenous populations.
have your say!
Apr 2019PENGUINS, DAVID ATTENBOROUGH, imperialism 
They have been criticised for rejecting diversity and clinging to an old-fashioned form of evening dress; now Cambridge students are calling for their language to move with the times and threatening to no-platform Sir David Attenborough who they say is also ‘guilty of offensive wordforms’ .
Emperor? Colonies? Should the Penguin Community continue to use using outdated and inappropriate language unchallenged?
O YES
O NO
O MAYBE
JOIN THE DEBATE!
WHAT THE PAPERS SAY
WHAT ARE THE PAPERS SAYING?
Check out The Second Post’s new daily NEWSPAPER REVIEW with detailed and perceptive analysis from LANGTON & BLANDFORD, OUR WIDELY RESPECTED team of MEDIA commentators.
NOT A MOMENT TO BE LOST! Newspaper reviewers Poppy Blandford and Coco Langton must work fast to get their analysis to your breakfast table
Special Offer!
The famous t-shirt as worn by Clay in the classic thriller High Harm
Purchase this styish T- shirt from the Empathy Clothing Company ethically sourced from a factory on the brink of collapse in Bangladesh. We regret the offer is currrently restricted to Premium Class Subscribers of The Second Post .
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NEWS
Apr 2019KNIFE CRIME, GLASGOW, MEDIA,
. . . and for God’s sake don’t forget to interview someone at the local boxing club
In a bid to ‘raise awareness of knife crime and the existential threat it poses to our society’ an online guide has been circulated to radio and television producers by Mediatrope, the industry pressure group.
Why Knife Crime Is A Jolly Bad Thing sets out the basic interviews which programme makers are now statutorily obliged to include. It is a no nonsense-barred instruction manual setting out just how many participants saying nothing new are required before a knife crime programme or package can be transmitted.
Parent, relative, friend of victim for obvious reasonsto voice grief and pay tributes.
Police officer to say, ‘We are addressing people’s concerns. Or ‘A lot has been done but we have further to go.’
Teacher or parent from the gang-breeding community to say ‘There is nothing for these kids to do round here.’
A local resident to say , ‘Lives of colour really matter’ or ‘The situation is totally unacceptable’.
Labour Party person to say: ‘Government cuts . . . we need more resources’.
Social worker of colour who is former member of the pro-knife crime community and now talks about ‘poor life-style choices’.
Volunteer who runs the local boxing club, ‘it gives the kids a chance to let off steam.’ ‘No knife crime programme is complete without this crucial component because bashing heads is a welcome break from talking heads and it even works well on roadio!’
Member of general public who has never done anything standing outside newsagent to say, ‘It’s no good the politicians talking about it; they need to do something.’
Anyone who can bang on about the succcess they’ve had with this exciting new holistic approach in Glasgow.
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