31 Mar 2018  . . . Criminal nomenclature . . . Chelsea warriors . . . Bronte Hotel chain founder dies . . . Cutting edge telly . . .  the slave trade triumphant again . . . 


Are our comedians scared of Putin? Lulu Shayler discovers why jokes about the Russian leader are so rare.


quote of the day 19 Mar, 2018 gender triumphalism, childbirth, radio ‘We want to draw people’s attention to the significant and very unique contribution  women have played in childbirth in this country.’ Tessa Jimbley, speaking about her eight part series for BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Day.

NEWS14 Mar 2018ISLAMIC STATE, BAFTAS, ME TOO Isis fighters arrive at a community centre in Hamra, Syria last night to watch the BAFTAS ceremony. They changed into black outfits for the occasion in a defiant show of solidarity with the ‘Me Too’ campaign organised by the women of Hollywood.

NEWS 10 Mar 2018 environment, waste, charitySecret plans for a takeover of a major UK company have been exposed in the unlikely location of a Tanzanian high school because of an error in sending material for recycling.  MyPad4schools uses more than 1,100 young volunteers across the country to collect waste stationery from offices for recycling. Good quality paper which is blank on one side is salvaged and turned into gummed notepas for dispatch to schools in emerging nations. Damian Beal, 27, a British volunteer teacher at the school outside Dodoma, who had recently been forced to give up his job in the City due to stress, saw the significance of the information on the back of a sheet. 

NEWS 6 Mar 2018 HEALTH, DENTISTS A new development in dental care was unveiled yesterday with the opening of the UK’s first dental parlour in Dulwich, South East London staffed entirely by qualified hygienists. ‘The idea is to encourage people to make a visit to a dental professional more frequent and relaxing than it is at the moment,’ says  Carla Simone, Manager of the parlour  which looks like a cross between a hairdresser’s salon and a dentist’s surgery.  ‘We believe people will find the DentShine experience to be less clinical and more pleasantly informal than the normal  hygienists clinic.’ 

QUIZ 4 Mar 2018 quiz, perplexus PERPLEXUS: ANSWERS TO QUIZ NUMBER 211 MAR 06 Concubine harvester (J-99) Reining in the Singhs (X-21) The feeders of Lebanon (S-84) Drinking disorder (C-53) Knife work if you can get it (N-98) Congenitalia (W-87)

In their effort to turn their athletes into virtual fighting machines it was inevitable that the East Germans would make them fight real ones 



2.15  Arbroath  Beau de Cologne
3.30  Royston  Buster Crab
2.20  Tenby  El Niño

FEATURES26 Mar 2018 RESTAURANT TROLLSThe name ‘Mercader’ is feared by all over Europe for it is the pseudonym of  Europe’s most respected restaurant critic critic.   The assassin moniker is all too justified because Mercader’s pen has destroyed many over-inflated columnar reputations. He wlll turn up at a news agents shop,  order an array of newspapers and magazines, then, in total anonymity, read all the food columns. TAMSIN DULUTH spends a day with him to find out just what happens next.  


A bitter dispute has broken out over a proposal to ‘repurpose’  UK media professionals in the struggle to bring some much needed transparency to the dealings of foreign regimes. Speaking at a constituency meeting last night, Simon Whitely, MP for Kilverton argued that the reduction of the United Kingdom’s armed forces is less significant than ‘the calamitous error of cutting the reach and budget of the BBC Overseas Service’. He outlined his proposal to promote the UK as a global centre for the training of media workers by deploying professionals from the country’s ludicrously overpopulated and underemployed media community as teachers in states that were ‘governmentally challenged’. Whitely, a current affairs producer with Caledonian TV before he became an MP two years ago, envisages the creation of 450 places at courses in journalism at three UK universities. 

The following events are true but some of them have not yet occurred.   Glyn Owen
True freedom is working for somebody else. Reggie Peplow
Ski cuts snow, snow covers rock, rock cracks skull. 21st Century skiing proverb/Anon.
The snow is always greener on the other side of the fence. Kornie Lovland
There is no English term for coup d’etat Glyn Owen
Felons are freed of their handcuffs by judges whose hands are tied. Glyn Owen

opinion 9 Mar 2018 SLAVERY, EU, IMMIGRATION, human resources,‘The most striking of all the European Union’s recent achievements has been to ensure the creation within its borders of a flourishing slave trade.’


Dr Donald Kesgrove of York College, Oxford argues that the UK has been among the most successful of the EU states in exploiting freedom of movement to recruit and import key personnel including traffickers, slave owners and slave workers to restore a discarded and discredited economic model and enable the institution of slavery to thrive as never before.

arts 5 Mar 2018 art, turner prize, A row has broken out following the rejection by the Turner Prize committee of an entry by conceptual artists, the Lolly Sisters. Their work consisting of a seven metre square collage featuring photographs of 130 people called Turner has come under increased scrutiny following an anonymous tip-off that one of the featured people, a close friend of the artists, was not actually called Turner.

YOUR LETTERS 4 Mar 2018ELECTIONS, CHILDRENDear Sir, Your columnist is quite offensive in her aside that ‘it would be like giving children the vote’. I am primary school teacher and when we held our own ballot in my school during the 2017 General Election the children were extremely enthusiastic. We found that they are perfectly capable of putting a cross on a ballot paper. Surely our Younger Citizens should be enfranchised forthwith? Dorothy Thompson, Barnesdale

reader’s PROBLEMS3 Mar 2018 life, designDear Stella, We have chosen a soft pale pastel for our new kitchen – Starling’s Egg (no 97 in the Little Greene chart),but we are having difficulty finding breakfast cereal packaging which doesn’t have scarily strident colours to upset the ‘feel’ we have been seeking to create. Is there anything you can recommend? Linda Greenly, Chinnor Stella writes, Dorset Serials, offers a Honey Granola in soothing terra cotta tones which would be one solution; likewise Classic Fruit, Nuts and Seeds will look quite fetching against your Starling’s Egg (Nice choice, Linda!). I would also suggest that the mellow tones of Dorset’s Simply Oat Granola in its pale camel pack could do the trick. Good luck!

If you have been affected by any of the issues in the above item and need further information

An APOLOGYWe would like to apologise and to say that we deeply regret any offence that might have been caused. We are doing everything in our power to make sure that something like this never  happens again.


LETTERS22 Mar 2018HIGH HARM Hi. Not sure the point of this site. It is doesn’t really connect with the books you are advertising. One is an entertaining but clearly factual behind-the-scenes account of the international judo. The other is a fictional thriller – quite nasty and scary. High Harm may have some very funny moments and gripping ski chases but fundamentally it’s serious and feels frighteningly prophetic. Geoff Cannon, Wakefield

FEATURES 3 Apr 2018 CHRIST, BANK HOLIDAYSWhy did all key events in the life of Christ from his birth to his death occur on Bank holidays? Ted Peasley, Profesor of History at the University of West Spalding, tells LULU SHAYLER his theory of Christ and the Bank Holiday connection TOMORROW in the Second Post.

prizes 12 Mar 2018 RADIO The Second Post has increased its prize offer to 1,000 Chair Miles to anyone who manages to include  more than three uses of the historic present in an interview with John Humphrys on BBC R4’s Today programme. The opportunity may be

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‘The security agencies of the West have more to fear from penetration by serious criminal interests than the agents of foreign governments’ 

– Prof Glyn Owen



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They built aqueducts and the coliseum they conquered nations and ruled half the known world or whatever but the ancient Romans never managed to come up with fried bread. Legend has it that it was during Julius Caesar’s invasion of Gaul that they first encountered the concept of the artisan crouton. The rest is history too. Jerry, who is a keen student of the classics and has the boxed set of I Claudius maintains that there is growing evidence for the claim by Professor Ted Peasely of the University of West Spalding – among others – that its origins lie in the kitchens of Caesar’s Palace in Luton.
(Taken from High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine Jacaranda Fitch Ravelin Books £7.99)


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