THE SECOND POST IS FICTION SERIALISED IN THE FORM OF A NEWS WEBSITE
QUOTE OF THE DAY Sep 2019POLITICS, APPROPRIATION, VICTIMISATION ‘There are some who seem to believe they own the corpse of Jo Cox and may wave it like a banner above their heads to further their noisy and self-righteous little arguments.’
George Darling in Eyeline Magazine
Sep 26 2019ABBEY ROAD, BEATLES, AUSTERITY
Hundreds of thousands come to walk across it, why shouldn’t they pay? Plans to monetise the Abbey Road zebra crossing made world famous by the Beatles are to be debated at a TFI meeting tonight. Opponents of the scheme argue it could jeopardise a bid to turn it into a World Heritage site.
Sep 20 2019
JOHN HUMPHRYS, SYNTAX, HISTORIC PRESENT, CHAIR MILES.
Humphrys quits Today with no challenger in sight
To test John Humphrys’s well-known loathing of the use of the historic present tense, The Second Post offered 5,000 Chair Miles to anyone who managed to include three uses of the historic present in the course of a single interview with the veteran presenter. But Humphreys left Broadcasting House yesterday unchallenged. Prof Ted Peaseley, Professor of Syntax at Royal Leatherhead College expressed ‘profound disappointment with the failure
science & technology
Sep 2019CLIMATE CHANGE, INSECTS, FLATULENCE
Scientists have drastically underestimated the quantities of methane gas produced by insects according to Prof Sven Siskie, of the Upsala Research Foundation. These invertebrates, notably the Daddy Longlegs, constitute an existential
‘I used to work for myself, but I fell out with my employer’
– Reggie Peplow
Sep 23 2019THOMAS COOK, TRAVEL, BUSINESs
‘They came in their droves from all over the globe, gallant volunteer airmen in a motley array of aircraft of every shape and size. Their mission? To rescue the stranded Brits and bring them all safely home. And – miraculously – they did it!’
LULU SHAYLER tells the full story of a remarkable mercy mission. Page 4
Thomas Cook holidaymakers queue patiently as they wait to be brought home.
quote of the day
NORTHERN IRELAND, BORDER, BACKSTOP
The EU has made sure that by inflating the threat of terrorism, the terrorists, not the signatories of the Peace Agreement, are the victors in Northern Ireland.
Prof Donald McCaulay on Radio Five A
THIS ONE iS FOR REAL
Sep 2019womans hour, MORALE BOOSTER, dignitas
Tireless in its desire to see the upside of life, LULU SHAYLER pays tribute to a national broadcasting treasure.
aOOD & WINE Sep 2019
PENNE FROM HEAVEN
The robustness of penne – this is the cilyndrical one that you have to chew like it’s an old piece of garden hose – makes it very much an autumn or winter pasta. Gerald, Bless him, likes it when i brew up a auce of shitake mushrooms (i prefer the onces that come from southern Hokaido because they have an extra something. The trick is not to over-strain the pasta but leave it slightly moister than you think would be right. Stir in a lightly-oiled pan over a medium heat. Serve in Tuscan potter bowls accompanied by Dean Martin’s Volare.
(Taken from Jacaranda Finch’s High Cooking, the No-nonsense Book of Haute Cuisine Ravelin Books £7.99)
NEXT WEEK: Mongolian Yurt-style Yoghurt
Sep 2019MADAGASCAR, SLAVERY, REPARATIONS, vanilla, mercedez
Our Third World Correspondent BRUCE TUNCLIFFE writes, Just days after Kehinde Andrews and Esther Stanford-Xosei spoke in an Intelligence Squared debate in favour of a motion demanding that the West must pay reparations for slavery, Amnesty International revealed these obscene conditions for unconvicted children in an grotesquely overcrowded Madagascan prison. It may not be slavery but perhaps Kehinde and Esther might rejoin the 21st Century for a few minutes and seek reparations for these poor wretches and do smething about their plight?
Sep 2019CROSSING SUPERVISORS, SATANIC, EXORCISm
TONIGHT’S TV CHOICE:: The UK’s Most Evil Lollipop Ladies 8.00pm Channel TK50
‘Well, Mark, he made you look a bit of an idiot.’ But I knew I would soon be boasting about the day I fought Hirotaka Okada, twice champion of the whole flipping world
Sep 2019justice, sentencing policy, spin
‘When are they going to cease the meaningless nonsense of aggregating the prison sentences so they can say ‘the gang was sentenced for a total of sixteen years. That’s just a way of avoiding saying that each of the four guys will, after serving their half their sentences, will be out in just a couple of years’. LULU SHAYLER meets lawyer Alwyn Cronin who is campaigning against ‘pure headline-shaped spin by the prosecution which the pathetic media cannot resist’.
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as used in the region's fabled eateries. (Subject to availability).